We are all Pioneers

You’ll notice around my blog the mention of the word “Pioneer” and there’s a very good reason for it.

According to Webster’s dictionary, “Pioneer”:
to explore or open up ways or regions for others to follow; to begin something new or take part in the early development.

When I went through my divorce, I decided to see a therapist and it was life changing (in the best way possible).  It gave me insight on myself, others around me, and my ex-husband as well.

In one of the sessions, she asked about my mother.  I told her that she is originally from Uruguay, and at 18 she moved to Argentina to work and create a better life for herself.  She later met my father and when she was in her 30s, she moved along with my father, my sister and I to the United States for better opportunities.  I went on to explain how when I was 16, she divorced my dad and worked three jobs at once to help me through college.

My therapist stopped and thought for a moment and said, “Wow.  So you two are very much alike in your strength to move forward.  You both moved away at a young age to stretch your independence and make a name for yourselves.  And when facing trouble you both sacrificed and push forward so others can thrive.  She’s a sort of pioneer, isn’t she?  Like you.”

I never thought about it that way, but the moment she mentioned “Pioneer,” I automatically thought of a song that I love by The Band Perry, called Pioneer (from their Album, Pioneer):

Oh Pioneer, I sing your song
Well it’s the hymn of those who’ve gone before and those who carry on
Pioneer, your work is hard
But the future of us all rests on the shoulders of your heart

Where are we going
Oh I don’t know
But still I’ve got to go
What will become of us
Oh I don’t care
All I know is I’ll go anywhere
Pioneer

Oh Pioneer
So young and brave
Be careful of the careful souls who doubt you along the way
Pioneer, you orphaned child
Your mother is adventure and your father is the wild

Where are we going, oh I don’t know
But still I’ve got to go
What will become of us
Oh I don’t care
All I know is I’ll go anywhere
Pioneer
Let your heart not be troubled

I won’t run when bullets chase me
I won’t rest where arms embrace me
I will love when people hate me
I won’t hush, no you can’t make me
Send the dark but it won’t break me
You can try but you can’t change me
Take my life, they will replace me
I won’t hush, no you can’t make me
I won’t hush, no we will sing

Where are we going
Oh I don’t know
But still I’ve got to go
What will become of us
Oh I don’t care
All I know is I’ll go anywhere
Pioneer

Let your heart not be troubled

Now, I’ not a country music fan, but that album got me through an extremely rough time in my life when I found out that my ex-husband had cheated on me and it was up to me to raise my 6-month old son on my own.  It spoke straight to me and I realized, that yea – I am a pioneer.  Heck, we all are!

So to all you the moms, dads, guardians, caregivers – you are more than just a mom or a dad or a caregiver – you’re a damn PIONEER!

Without sight of what the next day will bring, you are the one to take the first to step forward to pave the way for those who will follow, you’re children.  And because of you, they’ll path will be a lot smoother.

We face the turmoil that may cross our paths, shielding those behind us from the hardship it brings because the truth is “your work is hard, But the future of us all rests on the shoulders of your heart.”

So, my dear Pioneer, I hope you take comfort in knowing that we are all leading in our own paths. Sure, we all have visions of where we would like to go, but the truth is, none of us know where we are going “but still we’ve got to go” and we walk through each day in hopes that we get “there” – wherever “there” is for us.

Lets talk about divorce.

I have to ask – where area all my single or divorced parents at?!

I wanted to do a little research on single/divorced parent blogging, so naturally, I took to Google and let me tell you, it wasn’t as easy finding this niche as I thought.  Divorce now a days is more common than it previously was – so I figured, someone HAS to be blogging about it.  Well, I can’t find one – or at least, one that has really drawn me in.

Current Divorce Blogs

Now, don’t get me wrong – there are definitely some single/divorced parent blogs out there – it’s not like they don’t exists.  But there are few and far between and the ones that I did find included impersonal posts that just weren’t relatable.

I found posts that included, “the top 5 lessons from divorce, what not to do during a divorce, how to tell your children about divorce” – all these posts sounded more from a therapists point of view than from the person who sat there and had to maneuver through life as a newly divorced person.

Why are we not talking publicly about divorce?

Statistics show that there are more of us than there once was – so why aren’t we talking publicly about it?  Is it the shame that comes with the word “divorce?” Is it the stigma that is put on us for being divorced – especially a divorced mom?  Is it because we see divorce as a “failure” and don’t want to admit it?  Or is it because society sees divorce as something so negative that we shouldn’t discuss it openly?

Why are we still ashamed of talking about divorce publicly?

Well, let me tell you something! . . . It’s time we come out of hiding.  It’s time we celebrate our freedom.  It’s time we share our triumph over hardship.  It’s time we sit down, turn on our computers and start talking about what we have overcome without shame or guilt.

Lets make it better – starting here!

Divorce/separation is a long, hard, and lonely road.  So why are we making it even more isolating?  The truth is – we never know who we can help by sharing our journey with others.  So, Wayward Dash readers, my Pioneers – I’m promising you that here – I WILL talk about my divorce.  I will not only give you tips and tricks on how to deal with certain situations, but I will give you an insight look at my personal struggles and my personal situations and how I handled them.  Here, you will get a REAL inside look into the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between because the truth is – that’s life! Divorce happens!

So here I am Pioneers . . . I’m 33. I’m a mother. I’m a sister. I’m a daughter. I’m a friend. I’m a working professional in the marketing field.  I’m passionate.  I’m creative.  I’m a DIYer.  I’m hard working.  I’m a writer. I’m a dreamer. I’m a loyal.  I’m genuine.  I’m sensitive.  I’m a provider.  I’m a fur-mom.  And . . . I’M DIVORCED!

So, where are the rest of you?!